By Andreas Kessaris
I was a child of the ‘70’s who came of age in then ‘80’s and bore witness to the rise of the muscle-bound cinematic heroes who spoke incoherently and carried bazookas. The Reagan era was a time when action stars like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in their prime, worked with A-list directors and writers, and produced movies that are considered classics by my generation.
The first Expendables was a bit of a gimmick, promising all the action stars in one film and delivering a decent and entertaining product. The sequel was more of the same, but featured high-kicking Jean-Claude Van Damme in what was, at least in my opinion, his best work. (Although why they would have Chuck Norris in the film and not have him use his karate left me scratching my head.) Now with director Patrick Hughes at the helm the franchise goes even more over-the-top to be almost as funny as a Saturday Night Live sketch I remember called Die Foreigner Die that parodied the ‘80’s action genre.
The plot of the film is recycled and unoriginal. The characters are two-dimensional, and with so many stars that they are not seen long enough for us to get to know or care about them. Add to that a haggard Arnold Schwarzenegger who looked like he showed up on the set and asked the director: “Where do you want me to stand and what do you want me to say?” And Jet Li appears near the end and pulls a Chuck Norris. Again, why even have him if he is not going to use his martial arts?
All of that could be forgivable if the film featured original action sequences, scenes, dialogue or anything new cinematically. Sadly, it does not. Just lots of noise, explosions, etc… Even the main event (fisticuffs between Stallone and Mel Gibson), was a lame disappointment, and from the looks of it was mostly two stuntmen fighting. (Yawn.) And in the middle of this somehow is one of my childhood idols, Harrison Ford. How did this happen?
The Expendables 3 does feature some new, young members (most notably MMA fighter Ronda Rousey), who bring a little fresh energy to the effort (although with screen time at a premium they are underused as well), and some fun performances from Antonio Banderas and Kelsey Grammer. It is also worth noting that Gibson was watchable as the villain du jour, but once again he wasn’t there long enough for us to get to hate him, so we are left not liking him simply because he is played by Mel Gibson.
I saw this movie with my brother, (an even greater fan of the movies than I am). He was impressed with the assigned seating and the comfortable, reclining chairs in the theatre. I told him it was the latest attempt to get people to go back to the cinema. I then added that it somehow has yet to occur to Hollywood that they should perhaps produce better fare, and then the crowds would return. The Expendables 3 is trying to recapture lost magic from a different time, and fails to realize that like the classic westerns and the black-and-white film noir of the ‘40’s (of which the last of its great stars, Lauren Bacall, died this week), the shoot-‘em-up, good guys vs. bad guys golden age has passed.
