by Andreas Kessaris for Curtains Up!
“…the art of making a Bond movie is to do exactly the same thing – only do it differently.”
-Christopher Wood
Recently a cable movie channel ran a month-long James Bond celebration. I enjoyed watching the early classics like Dr. No, Goldfinger, and my personal favorite, From Russia With Love. As the days rolled on we got into the early, watchable Roger Moore (forever condemned to be considered the third-best Agent 007, at least in my book) films and on to the late seventies when they evolved into cartoonish, unoriginal schlock. It began with The Spy Who Loved Me, then came Moonraker (a silly film I viewed at a Cape Cod drive-in theatre with my parents and older brother while on vacation; I thought it was cool back then but forgive me I was only nine…it was actually the first Bond film I ever saw projected, but I digress). By the time For Your Eyes Only came around I was disgusted by the sight of an aging, leather-faced Roger Moore, (one would think he’d have relinquished the role by then; that very same year he parodied his image in The Cannonball Run, yet another flick I saw at a drive-in), with his pants hiked up to his armpits chasing around Carole Bouquet, thirty years his junior. I was also annoyed by nonsensical plot points, like when Bond explains to the female lead the pitfalls of killing for revenge, even though in the very same movie he mercilessly shoves a car off a cliff, crushing its occupant, in order to avenge the death of a fellow spy. So I did what anyone else with a grievance did: I complained about it on social media.
It was then that an old friend of mine who works in Toronto as a feature-film editor and director responded, suggesting I read a book called James Bond, The Spy I Loved by the screenwriter of The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Christopher Wood. Of the aforementioned book my friend said he had never read a “drier, funnier showbiz memoire.” So I raced out and bought the book, originally released in 2006. And my enormous friend was, as usual, right on the money.
Christopher Wood is a British author, screenwriter, and former advertising executive who wrote a string of adult novels, beginning with Confessions of a Window Cleaner, that parallel the James Bond saga in that they were a series of repetitive books that became a series of repetitive movies. He eventually, almost accidentally, fell into writing for the 007 franchise.
Sardonic British wit rules the day in James Bond, The Spy I Loved as Wood delights us with one hilarious anecdote after another of his navigation through the insane and inane world of show business in a quick, clear and, I dare say, fun manner. He joyfully points out all the horribly obvious flaws in Bond films as he takes us along for an epic adventure of exotic locations, difficult people, and behind-the-scenes hijinks. We are regaled with endlessly clever observations and asides, like when he had a sitcom script read and criticized by a TV producer: “One reader helpfully pointed out that writing sitcoms was a specialist business. From this I surmised that to be a writer you were obliged to be born a specialist. And I always thought that you made it up as you went along.” (Reading this early on in the book I wondered why none of the humour and cleverness Wood obviously possesses found its way to the screen in his Bond films; the book eventually answers those questions.)
I do not recall ever reading a book that made me laugh out loud at least once each page; even his chapter titles are smart and English (like Chapter 11: River, Old Man). It purrs along at a smooth, sly pace and never gets boring or redundant. Wood also wisely keeps portions pertaining to his family, even a touching section about his daughter’s serious illness (something a lesser writer would have sugar-coated or milked for sympathy), short and poignant. There is not a single unnecessary passage or wasted word throughout the text.
In short, James Bond, The Spy I Loved is interesting, entertaining and informative, (everything a show business biography should be). And it is not only for James Bond fans, but for lovers of film industry insider stories, as well as writers and other people interested in the creative process. The book may be hard to find but it is worthy of the effort.
I can’t wait for the movie to come out.
